remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i came on her dog
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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