Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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