"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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