How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
