wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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