I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she told me i tasted like america
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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