She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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