Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
