I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
