She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This is not my ceiling
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
