For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
