So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
