I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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