She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
