tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
