He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
