I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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