brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
