she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The Olympian is in my bed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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