shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
