Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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