So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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