am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
