well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
