i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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