The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
