Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
