he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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