I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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