i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
