The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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