There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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