u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
