i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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