wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
