I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
