my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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