new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's rum buckets o'clock
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
