I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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