I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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