people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
