did you get engaged???
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
