I will die if light touches me.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
