I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
