if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
