you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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