you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
