I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
