And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
