wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
