so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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