You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
