I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
